Draw Something Every Day

I just completed the first week of a personal goal of drawing something every day. Six of these were from following the twitter @pixel_dailies and making something with their daily theme (Mario brothers, training, nathan drake, lantern, inn).

Trying to get better, and I figure drawing every single day, even if it's something small and crappy will improve my art at least a little.

I think I've located what's missing in my life

I've read a poem that I can't get out of my head.

You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: “It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish.”

It's really sticking in my mind lately. I've found it describes a lot of what I've been feeling and a lot of what I feel has been missing. I lack purpose and passion, the kids are fantastic but no matter how much I try I cannot seem to do much besides what keeps us comfortable. Everyday I go to work, I come home, I cook and hang out with my family. It's what is supposed to make me happy right? Right?! I have no cause for complain, there isn't any outside pressure on my life, I've taken all the steps I needed to make sure my family is warm and never hungry, I've gotten more than my fair share of luck with friends and jobs.

But I just feel, empty. I feel like someone who's watching a movie of my life instead of actually experiencing it. I need to re-find my passion. I need to draw and create again. It's been far too long since I've danced, or learned something completely new, and I can't even remember the last time I was scared.

Maybe this is what life is in your 30's? I refuse to accept that though, it can't be this colorless life. I need to get drunk on life again.